I Shall not Want
What does it mean, “I shall not want”? Most of us pass through life longing for success: money, fame or popularity, seemingly never satisfied, continually thinking that we are somehow imperfect because we have not achieved a higher status than someone else we know or perhaps because we have not basked in the applause of the masses. Our self-image is often less than good and we tend to believe that somehow if we can make others love us it will help to bolster us in our own eyes. But is this true? Is this reality? I have noticed that much too frequently, some Hollywood star, rich and famous, ends his or her life when he senses a decline in his achievements or popularity. Why? If money opens doors to anything the heart desires, why fall into despair? People often make money their sole means of success. When we are not satisfied with the things life provides and when we think that somehow the whole ballgame depends on our worthiness in the eyes of humanity, it is easy to see money as the medium through which we can achieve the power or status we crave. When there is no money, there is often no hope. Rich and poor long for money, thinking it is the answer to their gnawing poverty, whether materially or in the world of human acceptance. The rich frequently deem the poor as stupid or lazy. I think we need to understand the phrase: “I shall not want”.
When I cannot do anything about my situation—trapped in some difficulty, painted into a corner from which I cannot move—I can have perfect confidence that my life is worthwhile, that G-d will provide a way to supply my needs and open doors of opportunity. When life binds me about with illness or financial loss, I will perceive that G-d is still there. Can I raise my face to heaven and thank G-d for my situation? Can we allow others to care for us and not despise our situation? Or do we worry that others may look down on us?
I know some of this only too well. Despair is a little demon that raises its ugly head when it seems we are bound with shackles that make it impossible to work to sustain our lives. The economy in our world does not provide adequately for those whom it deems less than useful. It is a common lie that broken people want to be dependent on what others provide. On the contrary, many of the unfortunate feel unworthy to be a part of society because they cannot give in a way that society deems worthwhile. Few among the wealthy have ever considered that the poor are in the world as a test.
Some of us experienced the devastating and corrosive influence of Naziism with its desire to destroy those who were not deemed useful to society. Can we see what it did to our world in the last century? Do we realize that those same evil seeds are deeply planted in almost every human soul? We want a world that presents no obstacles to our personal success and growth. We feel we do not need the poor and that they are, frankly speaking, dangerous to our lives. Maybe we don’t realize that this attitude serves the g-d of mammon and self. These evil seeds and their devastating influence on our world must be eradicated before society will turn its swords into plowshares! I shall not want—I wonder if that is another way of saying “thou shalt not covet?”
Often when things seem dark, we realize that the hand of G-d has brought us into the shadow of death. When it is painfully clear that our suffering is in line with his purpose, we must daily commit our spirits into His hand in order to escape despair. Hashem brings the trouble and he brings the cure. He brings the tempest so that he may be the Rock of our Refuge. It may seem counter-intuitive to most, but suffering, if understood correctly, teaches us to trust G_d and allow ourselves to depend fully upon him.
Does it mean that I have to stop wishing for what I cannot have? –that I will be happy with what my Creator provides through opportunities, inspiration, health, energy, finances, friends hopes and dreams? He is my Shepherd, so where he leads me there WILL be enough pasture to lie down in and provision for my daily needs.
