Why am I in Israel? This painful question haunts me and others and has done so ever since October 7 of last year. My thoughts about the purpose of the land of Israel and what this land is supposed to be confuse me. Is there not a purpose for Jews in the land of Israel? Is there no purpose for the chosen people other than to continually suffer? Where is the G-d of the Bible? Is it possible that people who have sacrificed to live in Israel, somehow have it all wrong?
Several of us toured some of the sites of the massacre a few weeks ago. My feelings were mostly numb throughout the tour. I learned things but my feelings were mostly shut down. Perhaps this was because of the grief I had felt ever since the event took place. I had already imagined the scenes. But it was interesting to see where the wall was breached so quickly at the Erez crossing and to learn first-hand from one of the residents who actually defended one of the Kibbutz’—Kibbutz Alumim, where not only Israelis were massacred but also foreign workers, who were shot and burned in their dormitory, some apparently while they were still in their beds or showers.
It was tragic to see the bullet holes and blown-up buildings. I was moved when I heard of the efforts of a local civilian who came on board to protect the police station in Sderot.
Many agree that Never Again has happened again and that it will happen over and over until we somehow get it right! But how will that play out? How is it that Jews, not only in Israel, still question, how do we get it right? How do we end the madness?
Perhaps this is the end of the world? It seems there is no hope anymore for a Messiah. Are Jews destined to extinction? Is there Nobody in the Universe watching the events unfold? Is there anywhere to hide? Perhaps the caves in the cliffs near the Kinneret are still waiting for people to find a bit of safety while Enemies take over the land. But how would we survive if we were even able to get there? Will we survive? There has to be hope.
When I question the G-d of Heaven, Ha Kadosh Baruch Hu, YHVH, Elohim or however He prefers to be called, I mean no disrespect. But upon what can I base my faith in the disaster that has happened to Israel and the hatred of the nations? Somehow Biblical promises don’t seem to be holding their ground. Perhaps there were conditions for these promises. Are we back to the days where the prophets feared for their lives? Will the cycle never end?
As someone who has always believed that the answer to the world’s woes is in the Book of Books, I find little solace when I see my vision of a peaceful Israel vanish before my eyes. I realize there is much that is embraced by the Jewish people that does not line up with the Covenant that we were given on Sinai. Could it be that somehow we have turned away from the ONE who is there to save and protect us? If so, is anyone listening? Does anyone care? Can blind eyes be opened, deaf ears be unstopped? Could it be that ever since Babylon, there have been new teachings that did not come from Sinai?
I hear my Jewish friends ask over and over again? Why the Jews? Why do we continue to suffer if we are the chosen people? I would ask them—but probably won’t—Is there a condition to being chosen? Did we somehow not fulfill our end of the bargain? If so where do we find what was expected of us? Where are the terms of the covenant written down? Everyone claims that the covenant is the Torah—but which Torah? Did anything happen to add to or take away from the covenant given at Sinai? If so, who was given permission to alter it?
A Prophet Speaks:
Isa 24:4-5: “The land mourneth, it fadeth away; the world languisheth, it fadeth away: the haughty people of the land do languish. And the land is polluted under the inhabitants thereof; for they have violated the laws, changed the statute, broken the everlasting covenant.”
So what was the command about altering the words of the covenant?
G-d speaks to Moses:
“Ye shall not add to the word which I command you, neither shall ye take from it, that ye may keep the commandments of YHVH your God which I command you.” – Deu 4:2
“Everything that I command you, ye shall take heed to do it; thou shalt not add thereto, nor take from it.” – Deu 12:32
G-d speaks to Joshua:
“Only be strong and very courageous, that thou mayest take heed to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded thee. Turn not from it to the right or to the left, that thou mayest prosper whithersoever thou goest.” – Jos 1:7
The Wisdom of King Solomon:
“Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.” – Pro 30:6
What did G-d tell Israel would happen if they changed the covenant?
The Torah:
“And YHVH will scatter thee among all peoples, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth; and there thou shalt serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou nor thy fathers, even wood and stone. And among these nations shalt thou find no ease, and there shall be no rest for the sole of thy foot: but YHVH will give thee there a trembling heart, and failing of eyes, and pining of soul; and thy life shall hang in doubt before thee; and thou shalt fear night and day, and shalt have no assurance of thy life.” – Deu 28:64-66
Moses Prophesies the Exile and Final Return in the Latter Days:
“I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that you will soon utterly perish from the land which you are going over the Jordan to possess; you will not live long upon it, but will be utterly destroyed. And the LORD will scatter you among the peoples, and you will be left few in number among the nations where the LORD will drive you. … But from there you will seek the LORD your God, and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in tribulation, and all these things come upon you in the latter days, you will return to the LORD your God and obey his voice, for the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not fail you or destroy you or forget the covenant with your fathers which he swore to them.” – Deu 4:26-27, 29-31
So, I still am heartbroken from what I have seen, and my anxiety mounts that what was declared to never happen again will continue to happen. When I think of my friends, whose ancestors for more than 2000 years have embraced what they think is the true covenant–the Talmud and the many books written by ancient Jewish Sages, I feel hopeless to ever be able to communicate with them. I know several who have personally told me that they don’t know anything about the Bible, that they have never read it and that they think it may be too hard to understand. This all sounds like the same thing I heard from Catholic neighbors when I lived in Mexico. They told me that only a priest could explain the Bible, so they were dependent on going to mass and other things. Well, there you have it! It seems that Judaism, as it is known today, is almost a carbon copy of some things that are found in the Catholic religion. May we all seek the knowledge of the Great Book of Books and renew our covenant while there is still time. Hashem is merciful and will not allow us to be destroyed if our hearts are sincere and we are willing to learn from Him.
B’shalom
Ariella Golani
Take Hold the Tzitzit 